....it is in letting go that you learned to hold on
...I was never friendly...guess since I experienced how it is to be betrayed by a so called friend...many have said that a person is rich not because by their wealth but because of the love coming from their family and friends and but because they have many friends...well in that case i'm poor, because as far as I know (and I'm counting right now!hehe), I have only more or less 20 to 15 person that I can say are my friends...these I know will stay no matter what...these friends I know, will be there for me...
...here we go again...many things to put but too few too mention...haiz!
...don't know what was wrong with me,for the first time in my life I wish I was not myself...haiz...for the first time ever I have insecurities that I never thought I had...wishing that I could change the way I used to be...it is just because of a person that I know I couldn't change and that I know was as stubborn as I am and probably more stubborn than I am...actually I was more than confused on how this person made me think that my "Bahala na" habit was not really a good one...if in love there is what we called a developed love, i think it has its own counter part in friendship...the so called developed friendship or maybe I'm the one kinda thinking about it!hahaha
...for you to probably have a grasp of what I am saying here lets begin on how it all started...
...It all started with a coffee...'tually I'm the one who really love coffee but sadly I should stop know because it is not good for my heart as the doctor advices because he think I have a heart problem, haiz....me and sheila got along way to love coffee...I'm the one who influences her to love also coffee as well as with rapz...It is w/ coffee that we became friends with our barkada...actually we are classmates during our college days and who would have thought that we became barkadas because as you could see there is nothing common about us all but maybe we compliment each other with a litle help from a coffee...
...til now I could not think properly on how a simple "trip" would led to this complicated situation...I remember jireh's word when we are in college that when you hate someone it just narrow down to blaming all the mistakes to that someone as to keeping yourself free from mistakes...but how I wish I know who got the mistake...don't know who's to be blame ...don't know between "I should have stretched my patience longer enough as to avoid getting into this situation" or " he exceeded in the so called limitaions that we are in this situation"...
...this time I don't know if I should say sorry...really sorry is the hardest thing to say especially if you are badly hurt by the situation...maybe I just needed to cool things out but I don't want to lose the precious memories we had once shared and the friendship that means so much to me...this time wish my bahala na habit will not win!...
...now I know that letting go of the things that you get accostumed of will make you learned to hold on much much stronger...
...guess it just narrow down in two things... To let go and let my stubborness win or to hold on and take the risk oif hurting myself in the process...
...this time it takes me to change myself...
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