...it's my day!

Need to be haapy...its my day but I don't know, I'm feeling lonely!

...on frying and killing

...It's only 8:24 in the morning but I am already blogging...don't know between walang magawa or tinatamad aqng gumawa ngayon!haiz...actually I was just blogging coz I find something funny, usual maybe, painful also maybe and a sad reality as early today...

...first thing first, I find something funny and usual maybe

   

  

• 
  
  I was riding a jeep going to office (Talisay-Bacolod) ng sumakay yund tga Ford na lalaki, actually palagi q syang nakakasabay everytime I am going to office so we are familiar to each other, yesterday I also saw him but we're not riding on the same jeep.This day, sumakay xa on the ceres terminal, I suddenly reconize him and he also reconize me. Me as usual doesn't pay attention to anyone riding on the jeep, I was having a world of my own...what kinda annoying is that this guy keeps on looking at me whenever I am not looking...maybe he doesn't know na nararamdaman q yun!hahahaha...kinda ESP...hehehehe..pero actually nararamdaman q talaga...then there was this instance na bigla aqng tumingin xa kanya coz nasilaw aq...hahahahaha..I caught him off guard looking intently at me!haiz...parang gusto q talagang taasan nang kilay but on instant I say to myself" let him look, he was just actually looking, walang mawawala and beside hanggang dun lang yon!hahahahaha...this was the first time that I let someone look at me intently without questioning him/her or without looking at him/her back na nakataas ang kilay q!hahahahahahaha...naging mabait aq ngayong umaga sa kanya!..thanks for him!hahahahahahahahaha...

...hmmm let's just stop to sad reality

• haiz...don't know where to start this one, its just that I have read her blog!don't know if I was born to like hurting my self coz all this time I am permitting my self to get hurt!haiz...I should stop all this nonsense and move on with my life!I know I should find my happiness...haiz...this is a chapter in one's life that really is very painful and no one wanted to be...I wanted to move on and forget everything but I still keep on holding on...I couldn't just turn away and move on...don't know why!The saddest part is that I know that there's no point on holding on, on waiting, on wishing, on wanting him but I still do...sana there is no hypothalamus so that I could not feel any emotions!so that I could not feel the pain...haiz...pra platonic ang lyf..hehehehehe

...unfathomable

...don't know what has gotten into me...I have long decided to let go but on certain circumstances I made a move to have a communication with him!!!

 ...Wish I was the one who has a magnet for you toi not to pull away...

...I don't know if he had already read my blog since i post it on my fb account and we're now friends!hope he doesn't...'til now, don't know what to feel...I am CLUELESS!!don't now what to do...

...If he is confused, then I guess I am more than confused, for I know what I am doing and I know what are the things that I shouldn't do but still I did it!!...haiz...ang gulo q..super!...couldn't focus on what I am doing right now!Still so many work to do but my mind is not functioning...all I wanna do is check his blog for the updates, check his fb account for his wall post and worst check his "ex" girlfriend blog for her wall post to!! I am really, really insane!...fell like I need a galloons of coffee to drink for me to get drown and be awake with all these fancy things!!

...It is too difficult when I only think is how lucky she is to have him when all I ever wished, wanted, longed and hoped for was to be with him, to know him, to see the real him when everyone else says it isn't true, to know the real him according to his friends...

...I wish I could know the real you,  the person that your friend was telling me...

...I wish there is a third time...can't you make a move???

...I wish I am the one that makes you confused for I am more than willing to answer all of it...

...all of this were all i fancy...Is it difficult for you to communicate and let me know the real you, Is it that easy for you to hurt me?Is it easy for you to make me smile while your hurting me at the same time??When can I have the chance to know the real you??or Is there really is a real you?wasn't I am just making my self believe to cover up the pain and still hold on when there is nothing to hold on to???

...I think and I know I am already INSANE!!! ala na...na wala na ang lahat ng katinuan sa utak q!!

... wish you are too :-(

...I know nothing

...I was having lunch with my officemate who happens to be a friend during college days when one of our boss join us...He was just actually curios about our conversation so he joined...

...to make the long story shorter...hehehehe...we ended up talking about nang princess love lyf...actually it was kinda funny and true to its truest sense...This time I have able to see and understand a guys understanding, opinions, actions and views when it comes to relationship, cheating and girls...

...I was laughing all the time our boss has been talking about guys escapades but I know and I believe that it is true...

...and this time to make the story long...hehehe...I tell you everything

...Just as when he seated he commented us about our talks 'til the conversation points to nang princess love lyf...The exact word he said was that "it was just your defense mechanism, you prefer not to know what he is doing because you are afraid to get hurt"...It makes sense, it really make sense...us girls would make up fantasy as not to think about what guys are really doing for us not to get hurt...guys also on the other hand, makes us feel appreciated, loved and so much more for them not to get "caught"...

...I may sound a bit peculiar but on listening to what he said I think it is really is true...He added that on loving a guy you should secure a 10% for your reservations...it is where all your doubts and other bad and painful things will be counted...

...Thinking about what he said made me realize that loving someone is not just loving him or her but also loving yourself...anyway how can you love someone when you don't love yourself, you couldn't give what you don't have and you could'nt have what you don't ask for and what you don't deserve...

...The Love thing is really is very complex...

... :-)